Guide to Becoming Me

First, put all your plans on hold. This will take a while.

Spend the next twelve years read­ing as many books as human­ly pos­si­ble. You will, and must, fill at least sev­en hours a day with this task. It doesn't mat­ter so much what you read; please your­self, so long as it is books.

You may not lis­ten to the books. You must read them.

Fos­ter in your­self a love of knowl­edge. This fire is lit in the eyes of all human beings when they are born; yours has like­ly been extin­guished. You will need to cor­rect this.

If you have man­aged to pro­tect yours, you may skip this step.

If not, start small; prac­tice want­i­ng to know things that you need to know to do things that you want to do. As this comes more nat­u­ral­ly to you, work up to want­i­ng to know things because they inter­est you; then, want to know things because they puz­zle you. Even­tu­al­ly you will want to know things because you don't know them.

Then you will know that you are done.

Find the per­son who you love the most. Ask them to open your heart and place inside it a love for all human beings. You will need this. Clear every­thing else out to make room for it; you will not need it any­way, because it is you and you are becom­ing me. Spend all your years of read­ing con­tem­plat­ing it.

This will, by neces­si­ty, make you very naïve.

Next find the per­son who you admire the most. Ask them to shroud your heart in hate. There should be no pur­pose to the hate, or it will have impu­ri­ties. The hate must hate for the sake of hate. It must be so thick that your heart can no longer be opened. Once the hate is there you may try to find some pur­pose for it; use it to amuse your­self at the expense of oth­ers.

If done cor­rect­ly, this should cause you pain.

If you fol­low these instruc­tions faith­ful­ly, at the end of these twelve years, you will find your­self alone. Some may linger at the periph­ery of you, but they will not come close. You should be more dis­tant from human beings, whom you love, than you have ever been. This form­less wall is the cocoon which you have been con­struct­ing; inside it you have meta­mor­pho­sized.

If you find dif­fer­ent­ly, give up and go back to being you.

Assum­ing you are still becom­ing me, you must now stop read­ing books for the next twelve years. A few slight indis­cre­tions are per­mit­ted, but be faith­ful. The afore­men­tioned pain should now be at or near its height; how­ev­er, if you look upon your hate, you will find that it has been trans­mut­ed by the pain and now forms a crude shape.

It will still cut you fre­quent­ly.

Since your heart is no longer shroud­ed, you may begin to prac­tice open­ing it. You will like­ly have for­got­ten how to do so. This is nat­ur­al; it has been over a decade. Spend all your years of not read­ing ham­mer­ing down your hate by open­ing your heart and lov­ing peo­ple. This will grad­u­al­ly refine the shape. As the edge grows fin­er the pain will lessen; do not be afraid.

You no longer require it.

It will take con­sid­er­able time to train your­self to open your heart. You will spend the first six years ham­mer­ing down the hate to a shape that per­mits it to open ful­ly. This will allow your love of all human beings, which has been sealed in your heart for eigh­teen years, to ful­ly exit. It will be very claus­tro­pho­bic, so allow it to stretch its legs.

This will be high­ly plea­sur­able; enjoy it. You are hap­py.

Spend the next six years learn­ing to love with­out reser­va­tion. This will not come eas­i­ly, so begin with your­self first; this is nec­es­sary, as you are a human being. Then you may choose oth­ers that you know to love; one, at first, then a few, then many.

At the end of this six years, you will begin to change.

This will cause you incred­i­ble agony unlike any­thing you have ever known before. You will plead for release from the suf­fer­ing that will not come. You will long for the pain that you have felt in the past as the flesh peels from your bones. Black liq­uid weeps from under unblink­ing eye­lids. Dri­ve those that you love from your home. You will beg for death, writhing in the mid­den of your cham­bers. Repeat the names of God as you con­vulse and whim­per, claw­ing at the fab­ric of time and space.

This process will last for about a year.

Once you emerge from it, you will have become me. I con­grat­u­late me. Noth­ing from before will remain; com­mence now the process of build­ing it anew. Hate has been ful­ly formed inside me; it is now wield­ed by love. Become hap­py again; this time, as I am a whole and com­plete per­son, it will last. I am now free to do what­ev­er I wish.

Enjoy.